In The “In between”

Last time I shared before and after pictures of our RV renovation. And although it was fun to share those picture with you, renovations are not fun to live though. Pictures that took you minuets to appreciate, took us months to create. I’ve never known as much stress as I have during our renovation. There is a picture from our renovation that I didn’t shared last time, it’s what I call the “in between” picture. A picture mid renovation where the wall paper had been removed and all the ugliness of our water leak damage was on display. I didn’t share the picture partially out of embarrassment. It just felt a little too ugly, a little too real at the time. As people in the renovation world know, things usually look worse before they look better.

The good thing about a RV renovation though is that one day the project is over. Eventually you patch the walls up, pick out a paint color and hang your curtains and enjoy the “after.” The thing is though, I still find myself sitting in an “in between” stage. The life of a Christian is always in process, in progress; but these “in between” seasons are sometimes so hard to accept, so hard to rest in.

In lots of ways our lives have settled from the storm of Covid, we have somewhat settled back in our home city and my husband has been able to return full time to his previous career as a musician, but life still feels very, what I like to describe as “ewey gooey.” We still aren’t sure where we are headed in life. We are still living in our RV, very comfortably, but still, it doesn’t make one feel settled. I find it really hard when someone ask what our plan is or where we will live next to just say, “I don’t know.” The conversation feels awkward unless I follow it up with, “here are some possibilities,” or, “here’s some places we might go,” as if to justify my situation. But the best answer is still just “I don’t know.” We are in the waiting. Praying and seeking but still the forecast ahead just looks foggy. We are doing one of the hardest things for anyone to do, wait.

While driving down a back road a few months back, I spotted a little old shed and although I only glimpsed it for just a second, I knew instantly that I loved it, that I had to draw it!

I knew almost instantly that I would recreate it as a garden shed. I think gardening can teach us so much about life. Oh the analogies I could make about pruning or good soil, but recently I’ve been thinking about spring. Specifically early spring, before the baby plants poke out of the soil but after the seeds have been planted. That time when, if you are still a beginner gardener like me, you hope and pray that something is brewing beneath the surface, that you didn’t screw something up. Plants in this stage need time and water but there really isn’t much you can do but wait. Everything in culture has the appearance of happening so fast that sometimes we forget that things take time, that renovations take time, that people take time. Sometimes its ok to wait and see what the Lord will bring about. Because I am confident that he is always at work in his children’s lives, even when on the surface it seem like time is wasting away.

I’m confident that one day God will give me the “after” picture of this season for our family. I hope and pray that at any moment we will see the new plants break free from beneath the soil and we will praise God for his goodness, for his wisdom to unroot the old plants, till the soil and replant on our behalf, knowing that we needed new plants, even if we didn’t want them. One day I hope to fully know the purpose of all life’s difficult seasons and to say, “now I see what you were planting there Lord!”

Slowly I am realizing though that life on earth is all one big “in between.” One issue is resolved, one “after” picture is taken, just to have God reach for the his gardening tools again and say “now let’s work on this section of your garden.” Half way through working on this drawing I scribbled “heaven” in the corner. I imagined that if this shed could be brought to my backyard in heaven, this is what it would look like. The more I live, the more I find myself longing for heaven, when we will wait no more. Until then, I am learning patience. As one country song puts it “the longer the waiting the sweeter the kiss”*

“…do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”**

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And if you haven’t seen the after pictures of our RV renovation click here.

Or click here to see more lemons artwork and to purchase the “Garden Shed” print

*Josh Turner’s “The Longer the Waiting”

**2 Corinthians 4:16-17